So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
