Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
