With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't deserve a penis
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
