the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
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I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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