so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
