I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize