I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
wow bdsm is so cute
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