he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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