i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
