I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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