the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize