Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
