Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
