Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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