It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
