we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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