addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
