I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
