Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We just shotgunned beers for America
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
