I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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