Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm determined to sit on that face.
as a side note pls kill me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
