so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
