well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
