piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
