Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
