hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize