he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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