His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
