My pussy is not your playground.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
