I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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