cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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