I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
