i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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