Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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