I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
