Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
