My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
