Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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