Just cropdusted the office
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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