He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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