so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
