This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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