You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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