she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
