ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
