There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
