i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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