after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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