Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
