I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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