i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
