If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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