my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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