Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
