i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
BRING THE BAGELS
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
