Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
