I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
