He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
