I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
