So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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