Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
