I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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